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I know, I know. The title makes it sound ridiculous right? Yeah, I thought so too. But turns out that 8 months apart from each other can be eye opening. Because like I said in my previous blog post- hindsight is 20/20.
So before I get into the juicy juicy details that all of you have been so patiently waiting for: a little back story. With losing my Dad at such a young age, then my Step Dad passing away, and never really dealing with any of that 'male in my life figure' dynamic--- I HAVE DADDY ISSUES. But, I mean, who doesn't, amiright?
Okay so this is where shit gets hard. Because I obviously remember a lot of stuff during this age. A lot of shit happened. I started learning how to deal with my trauma. I realized OH I have anxiety...OH I'm clinically depressed. I got my Bachelors of Fine Arts. I moved across the country. I moved across the world. I had 4-ish major relationships. I loved a lot of people. A lot of people didn't love me back. I was sexually harassed and sexually abused. I made a lot of friends and also lost some of the best ones I've ever had. I worked a lot of jobs. I became temporarily disabled because of a knee injury. I gained a lot of weight. I dealt with a lot of brain stuff. I traveled the world. I published a book. I took nude photos of myself. I shaved my head multiple times.
When I think about all of the things that happened during this span of my life I'm like OMG how will I ever tell you all about everything???!!? Well, SPOILER ALERT, I'm not.
What I've decided to do is think of the major things that happened throughout 11-20 years old and then tell you about those and then also share some hilarious pictures because honestly who doesn't love reminiscing by looking at photos as you were transitioning through puberty. It'll be a good laugh, I promise.
I was honestly the same as a child as I am now at 30 years old. Not scared to get dirty, naked most of the time, but also loved flowers and being pretty.
I don't really know what else to say except that I'm trying to be a better person, a more whole person. I'm trying to be genuine and real. I'm trying to do the best I can in my life and relationships with other people. But, fuck, somedays it's hard.
Do I regret my choices? A part of me does. Sure, I want to go through life saying nO ReGRets~~ but who am I or you kidding?
Read a lil bit about my time in Amsterdam with both Alley and Vanessa- two huge inspirations of my life and the people that helped keep my head above water in a dark time of my life.
Duh, I got ice cream on the way to everything.
Hello all. I've been wanting to update my blog because a lot has happened in the past few months. I know that I've written about a lot of the bad stuff but honestly I had some of the best times right before leaving. Alley and Vanessa were there. Yvonne was (and is) there for me. So even though it's slightly bittersweet writing about it, I know I still need to do it. That it will help me heal. Anyways, here goes, enjoy! <3
It's #WorldMentalHealthDay so here's a blog post on what I've been dealing with for the past two weeks/and the past few months.