Am I a good fat or a bad fat??

This blog post will be in reference to a podcast by Lauren Marie Fleming which you can find here

For the first time in my adult life I finally received the approval of health care in February of 2015. Which thank Oprah that happened because in May of 2015 I was hurt at work. This started a long long long list of Doctor Appointments. I officially had an "invisible illness/injury". 

In the podcast I mentioned Doctor Martina Shabram talks with Lauren Marie Fleming about freaks in society. They are discussing what it's like to be fat and dealing with a lot of the medical establishment. Not every Doctor is like this... but SO many are quick to say "it's because you're fat." or "You need to lose weight." It's such an easy way out and an easy diagnosis. I've been dealing with an invisible injury since May and it's STILL not completely gone.

"Bodies are conglomerations of problems that need to be fixed....Here's what we know about the body in front of us. Well, we know that the body is fat. Check that box. We also know that this body has some GI problems. Now we've done the tests that currently exist for these GI problems and we're not finding any answers. that body is now not just sick and in need of a cure,but that body is now pushing on the limits of our knowledge. And what we KNOW is what gives us the power over those bodies. Medical power and establishments and dominance over the realm of the body is granted because they know more than us. And yes, disclaimer, many doctors know many more things about the bodies than I do. But also we understand our own bodies pretty damn well. And the medical establishment needs to have control over them so if you're showing up with a body that does not fit their narrative, and they don't have an answer. They can't cure you. Well their going to need to find a reason for why you're sick or else going to have to say they don't know. and saying they don't know disrupts their power. So they are going to find some reasons. They are going to blame the fat."

I've basically been the same weight give or take for the past 5 ish years. Yes, I've gained some weight AFTER the injury, but I know my body. I know that what I'm experiencing isn't normal. The fact that I cannot bend down or get onto my knees or sit cross-legged is NOT because I gained 20 extra pounds. I FEEL that there is something more going on, but I just keep being told that I'm fat. I need to lose weight. I need to start exercising more. I need to eat healthier....

But the truth is the majority of what I eat IS healthy, I try to exercise but the swelling in my legs makes it almost impossible some days, I watch my sodium intake, I stretch my legs, I take hot baths, I put ointments and cremes on the affected areas, Acupuncture, Diuretics, Massage Therapy, etc. etc. etc. etc. 

But the tightness and swelling is STILL there. I don't have any other answer besides that I'm fat, that I should lose weight, I should only eat vegetables, maybe it's too much gluten, or maybe it's just all in my head. I'm making it up and it isn't really there.

I am a white woman so my medical treatment is WAY more privileged than many other people out there. I actually HAVE insurance now so I'm able to go to the Doctor. It makes my heart hurt for all of the people that don't have the access, the people that aren't even looked at because of the color of their skin or their gender or their background or whatever else.

I'll end on this note. Food for thought. <3



And here's a beautiful illustration by
Rachel Cateyes!