I know that with the *majority* of my blog posts I post about super vulnerable shit where I'm pretty "complain-y." I BET if I were to create one of those sarahahah things that people would tell me all of these things. Fortunately enough, I don't give a shit about what people want to say about me behind an anon facade. I have enough hate spewed at me on the internet daily. I have enough insecurities about people I call my friends to actually not give a shit about me. Like...get out ma business if ya don't like it, ya feel me?
I never understood why people who OBVIOUSLY don't like me still continue to follow me. I guess some people would use the excuse "it's like a train wreck, ya know, you can't look away". But for reallll? You would want to watch a train wreck for years and years? Think about that one, beb. Because I know I am not that morbid. I am the quickest person to just click that unfollow button. I'm more of a believer in "out of sight, out of mind". Mainly because my mind is a crazy town and it can only handle a small amount of things. Wow, am I complaining again? Hahahah. Maybe I'm really turning into a Dutch person.
Here's some things I currently can't complain about:
- Freshly baked bread that costs like .2 cents
- Weed stores everywhere
- You can use a debit or credit card at said weed store
- I live in Europe
- I don't own a car anymore
- I bike all the time
- I have a partner that is willing to put up with me
- I have a really good friend, Yvonne who is super talented and amazing and just GETS me
- I have a lot of plants that are doing really well and I've only killed one (RIP)
- We have a really large table in our house that we currently have two work spaces set up and a 95% done puzzle on.
- Simply Nail Logical's youtube channel. (Thanks Yvonne for creating an obsession)
It's easy to focus on the bad parts in life. We're all guilty of it. ... Right?? RIGHT??? Tell me I'm not the only one. For me, when things are bad, I focus on that shit. I'm all "life can't possibly go on" and "fuck this shit". But then I get a good nights sleep, I communicate about my feelers and eat a good breakfast and I feel much better. (Not all the time. Just sometimes). When things are good though, like my brain feels calm and nice and stuff, I latch onto that. I do things to make me feel inspired. I write in this blog. I edit pictures and draw in my sketchbook.
Even though it's been hard for me to make friends here, I'm happy for the one(s) I do have and the people I have been able to meet. I've probably met a handful of people since I moved here. With all of my anxiety and depression stuff though, it's hard to *keep* friends. Does that make sense? Because I don't really feel like I'm the most reliable person when I'm having a hard time. And I've also had such a hard time just existing that the thought of meeting a new person just really really freaks me out sometimes. So for all of you that have tried to be my friend here and are reading this, I'm sorry I can be the worst. Plz don't h8 me. (haha)
Almost all of the photos in this post were from a day I spent with Yvonne in Amersfoort. Wow, I've said her name like 7000 times already in this post. *STALKER* (jk). I'm really digging the small towns neighboring to Amsterdam. I really miss farm lyfe. I miss the woods and wide open spaces. And when I go to these smaller towns I feel more connected to those things. I think I'm just a small town girl. Wow, there are a lot of sentences here that are also song lyrics to songs I despise.
We went to this really great nature area near Amersfoort in a smaller town called Soest. Click here to visit the page giving you some info on them. It's called Soesterduinen and were formed during the last ice age (cool AF). It's a really nice nature area with some forests surrounding with lots of pretty homes and horses and stuff. I definitely want to venture back here during the week and early in the morning to shoot some noOdz.
New sketch in my sketchbook that I'm actually really excited about. I took some photos of myself and I ended up not really liking them so I just used them as a reference for this little guy. I'm trying to not use predicable skin colors and to try and not focus so much on making things match the image and it ended up working really well! I've really been trying to have fun with my sketch book to get me more motivated to work on commissions. BTW, I am currently taking commission orders again. Email me for info : firstname.lastname@example.org
That's allllll y'allllllll!