Suns Out, Fat Bellies Out: Day One

I decided to do this week long project because not only do I want to help other people wear whatever they want, I also want to force myself to love my body and to not be scared to wear a crop top. Over the past week I've put on a crop top or a t-shirt tied in a knot... probably.... 4 or 5 times? And then took it off immediately after looking in the mirror. I've been brewing on it though and today I just said... You know what? F.U.C.K. I.T. If I want to wear a crop top and show my belly then that should be okay? I'm not hurting anyone. 

Day One! Standing in one of the busiest streets in Amsterdam. 

Day One! Standing in one of the busiest streets in Amsterdam. 

As I'm back home I feel a bit stressed out. I do feel very liberated and awesome, don't get me wrong. But... being on one of the busiest shopping streets in Amsterdam as a fat person is very very intimidating. Especialllyyyyy in a new country.

I just said in the paragraph before that whole "fuck it" mentality right? Right. But... I also have serious anxiety. I also have been fighting to redo all of the information that I've received from society in the past about being fat. And when I see people staring at me. Directly at my belly. Up and down with no shame... It makes me so uncomfortable as fuck. Don't get me wrong, I'm so glad I did it, but it takes a lot out of me mentally.

 Maybe those people talked shit about me afterwards, but that's not my problem. That's something I have to work on. I don't want or need those people to like me.

I deserve to take up space, and so do you. 

 

Join me in showing your belly

this week and hashtag: #sunsoutfatbelliesout